Me at 14

6.17.13

this is what it does, this is what i am always trying to explain- i smile, i sleep, i cut up fruit and walk along the river, but around me the world shrinks to this ring.  i fasten this life, i set conditions, the ring contracts even further.  there are sacrifices i make, and they are great. i will lose anyone.  i will lose everyone.  mine is a hunger too great to satisfy.  i write to him from the house of voids.  i was not built on solid ground.  this is a fist, a place, a lock.  i want to be held down, pinned.  at night i speak to stars.  he finds me by the water, and he knows enough.  i can’t be human, i can’t be human- god, i have turned my back on so much.